Well He is finally here! My little man, my whole world....my son. I could not be a more proud and in love momma. As hard as parts of the past few weeks have been, it's a blessing in disguise. A good friend, who also just had a baby back in May, told me that we make it through these first few weeks, the hardest ones, by the grace of God and nothing else. And it has only been by His grace that I have made it through some of these long nights where we struggled with breastfeeding, sleeplessness (on Ayden's part), or any number of other newborn daily struggles. This is one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have ever done.
Here is a little recap on how this little peanut came into this world:
There we were at 40 weeks, 2 days and he had still refused to turn. My parents had arrived in town the day before and were anxiously waiting to meet their first grandchild. So Ken and I gathered our things and headed to the hospital that morning, June 26th, 2014 for our scheduled c-section. So many emotions, fear and excitement, running through my mind. This is not at all how I planned my sons birth to occur. I had researched, I had prepared, my birth plan was typed! I felt defeated and in some way responsible, AS IF I could have in anyway changed that my son was stuck and too big to turn. And for the record, we tried!
"Leave it to a little boy, to
ruin mom's best laid plans."
We met my friend Trisha on the way up to Labor and Delivery. "let's have a baby!" I said to her as we made our way to check in. She was going to be with me through my labor and delivery but since plans had changed, she would be with us in the room before and after the c-section instead.
My great friend Jess had been entrusted with photographing this event and arrived just in the nick of time to shoot a few pictures right before they whisked me away to the OR (Operating Room). Ken was handed a pair of scrubs, a hat, and a mask. He would get to sit by my side during it all, but had to be in hospital garb.
Once that had me all hooked up and my spinal block had been done, Ken was allowed to come assume his place in a little chair right next to my head. An OR is not a very warm and fuzzy place to be, let alone be relaxed when you're awake while in one. I could not have done this, bringing my little man into the world, if Ken had not been there to hold my hand and talk me through it all. I was numb from the chest down but I could feel pressure and tugging as they made their way in to getting Ayden out and into the world.
Then, I heard that first cry. It was all over then. I was in love. Hadn't even seen him yet and I was in love. Then they held his little body up over the curtain in-between me and the doctor and I saw his wrinkly little body. The cutest baby you'd ever seen. That moment is forever etched in my mind. I was really a mom now. That screaming baby getting checked over by the NICU nurse, was mine. And you better believe he came out kicking and screaming. I have never heard a baby scream so loud, but he was mad and he was going to be heard. :)
Ken had the camera with him and was taking pictures the moment Ayden landed under the warmer. Once he had been checked once over and cleared by the NICU nurse, they wrapped him and gave him to Ken until Dr. L. was finished closing me up. When all was said and done we were in the OR for less than 30 minutes total.
I could not stop crying when I first held him in that OR. All my anxiety and fear of having surgery had fallen away and I could not contain the smile on my face from seeing this little tiny human that I had created.
We made it back to the recovery room where Trisha and Jess were waiting and Jess jumped on taking pictures of everything, which I am so grateful I had her there to do that. I then had a 2 hour window to start breastfeeding if he would latch and to be monitored before we were taken to our postpartum room.
A special thanks to go out to my nurse Debbie who was absolutely AMAZING throughout the entire prep, c-section and recovery. She helped and made me feel safe, encouraged, understood, and relaxed. The PERFECT Labor and Delivery nurse you could ever have. And that meant so much.
There could not be any greater privilege or responsibility than being blessed with a child and I could not fathom trading it for anything in the world. I pray everyday that God is giving me the strength and wisdom to raise this little guy into a man of God.
Keep watch as I'll start posting about my breastfeeding journey and my new adventures into motherhood! :)
